Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Holiday


She laid down on the bed with a pretty smile on her lips, or may be a smile that showed contentment.She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled again. She had enjoyed her day . A week back, she was a mess. Subha , her daughter who was thirteen had just begun to be the teenager ! She seemed to have a reason to argue on every small thing – why should I brush before coffee, wh cant I take the newspaper to the toilet etc! Subhit was sixteen and mature and the son she doted upon . Her husband Atulya somehow managed to bring a smile or a frown on her face without fail.It had been eighteen years since their marriage and Atulya, she thought was not giving her the kind of attention, she believed she deserved. Somewhere along the line she felt she was left behind, she felt all of them were moving ahead without her. She felt alone. She felt her life had been wasted in this bargain of marriage and motherhood. It was then that she decided she needed a day off, a day off from being a ‘MOM’ and ‘MRS.Atulya Natarajan’. “I am taking a day off. I am going out of coverage area for 24 hrs” , she said. Subha who had been watching her favourite show on TV, muted it and turned around with eyes wide open. “Amma, what are you saying – out of coverage area? It would only be appropriate if you said ‘will not be reachable’ and thank god, you will not be switched off” said Subhit with an impish smile on his face. Subha gave the ‘whatever’ look but questioned me, “what do you mean a day off?”. “Yes. A day off.A day off from all of you”, sakhi replied. “ I need to be just me, only Sakhi. In all these years, I have lost many parts of me that makes me complete. I need to rediscover me. I know a day is not enough bu I want to make a beginning.” Subha was not convinced. She began to say something when Atulya interrupted and said, “Ok. Do as you wish.” Subhit only smiled and said,” Subha , I think its only right that Mom gets her time and space to be herself.” “Next week this day” said Sakhi. It was her Holiday, her off, her DAY to be herself again. She had made no lists of what she was going to do, but decided that she would flow along as things moved. She got up, got ready and called herself a cab. She decided at that moment that she would call Samita an old friend of hers. They had been the inseperable duo in college. She had somehow traced her and found her number and decided to surprise her. After a few rings she spoke to Samita and resolved to meet at their favourite college hangout, Carnival. It was 12:00 p.m and she had reached Carnival. She searched through the people, mostly the college crowd for Samita, when she found her sitting in their regular place, in the far corner. As she walked towards her , memories did a powerpoint presentation clip by clip moments by moments.Her eyes were now teary and by the time she had reached Samita she had almost begun to shed tears of joy. She now rushed the last few paces and hugged her.Sitting down, they both in the same breath said, “Boy, you changed” and “You have not changed”. Samita again said, “ You have changed. You are beautiful.” Sakhi retorted,” And you are just the same.” “…and still single”, continued Sakhi after a pause. “…you my dear are glowing.It must be love.”, said Samita. “Bullshit, what love? Am not glowing! I am harried.” Sakhi cut in. “So how many kids do you have?” continued Samita curious to know more about Sakhi. They were meeting after almost 21 years. “ Two…and now no more talking about my family and my boring life.” “ Lets be the old Sakhi and Sammy. Lets do something extraordinary. Today is my day off. I want to be the old me. I want to enjoy all that I may have missed – hukka, drinking, discos, parties, shopping till you drop ……everything, everything that singles do”. “What? A day off? “asked a puzzled Samita. “Yes a day off.” “But why?” “That’s because, I wanted to rediscover myself.” “ Hmm. Ok. Lets have fun then” They had their favourite cutting chai, samosas . “ So tell me what have you been dong all these years besides enjoying your singlehood?” asked sakhi. ‘I did enjoy initially.Going out on tours, partying late, travelling to amazing places…mingled with people. Its like been there done that.” “ I have worked hard besides doing all these things. I wanted to be this way, but today, don’t know. I don’t know if what I wanted then is what I want today, now ,as of this moment.” “Why do you speak so?” “ You know Saks….I come back home and I am all alone, I have nobody to share my joys, my sadness, my achievements .NOBODY.” “But…then…you have all those friends to mingle?? Your parties? Then why do you say you are lonely?” “But Saks they are not your own, they are just like those bus passengers who sit next to you but get off at the next stopping.” “ You know the moment I saw you today , I was consumed with envy, seeing that glow of contentment and happiness in your face. I saw a sense of completeness in you.” “ Me? Contentment? You must be joking. I took a day off because in all the duties of being a wife and a mother , I have lost me in the bargain. I want to make up for the lost time.” “ Saks, don’t misunderstand me…but you are a fool! You got an amazing family. You are not looking at that. You are looking for what you think you want but not at what you already have…the real treasure.” “Humph….what do you know what it is being a mother and a wife all through your life? “Well, I would love to be so. You see, am not. But, I want a family like the one that you do.Like a friend has to, I am telling you this. Get back home , remove the scratchy spectacle you have put on and with your eyes wide open look at your life differently. Be amazed at what you have. Enjoy what you have. And after all that call me up and we will have that holiday of ours to just enjoy and not to run away from the life you got. Also to rediscover oneself, all one needs to do is sit back reminisce and be in touch with yourself. Let bygones begone and all the best .” Sakhi returned home earlier than she had planned. The house was spic and span. Subhit and Subha along with Atulya had managed the day.She went into her room.Sammy’s words were nothing but the truth. She knew it the moment she heard it. She smiled . She was her best friend.In a way good that she had taken the day off. She laid down on the bed with a pretty smile on her lips, or may be a smile that showed contentment.She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled again. She had enjoyed her day .She decided that she would now enjoy every day.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Balloon


“Mama, it is time for dada to return!” said Tisha. Tisha had been patiently waiting for her dad to get back from work.A trait that did not remotely suit her, an impatient little girl that she was. Rukmi smiled. She was reminded as to why Tisha had been frantically waiting for Ram. Ram had promised her that she would get a gift that evening. Tisha was the apple of his eye. Even Rukmi a partner in the creation of Tisha did not hold the importance that Tisha did.She smiled again; she was amused about their bonding. Ram was famished. He checked his watch.It was 6.30 in the evening. Almost all his colleagues had left or were leaving. He was waiting for an important call from London.He could leave only after the call. Responsibilities one shouldered, to get that fat pay check, just to make sure that the family was happy and contended.He saw his watch again.It was 6:32 p.m. It seemed like an hour.He was getting restless.He wanted to get back home to his family.He felt complete there with them.The giggling Tisha, the smiling Rukmi- he could not live without them and the delay in the phone call was now frustrating him. His marriage with Rukmi was just 5yrs old and Tisha was 3 and a half years old. They had both been pretty thrilled about the pregnancy and very superstitious too. They had informed none about the pregnancy for almost five months, until Ram’s sister decided to visit them. Ten months later after much fussing and caring, their bundle of joy arrived and how. Ram wanted to be with Rukmi to be the first one to see the baby, but again he could not bear to see her in such pain.So he opted to remain outside the labour room pacing with a look of such pain as though he was the one going through the labour . Finally as the nurse brought him the wrapped bundle of joy, he could not stop the tears flowing down the cheeks, the joy he felt was indescribable. It was a sense of fulfilment. Triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing….Triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing went the phone and knocked him back into the moment. “Finally” he thought, “it is time to leave.” He walked a few blocks before taking the taxi to the station where he would board the train to get back home. It was now 6:50 p.m. He would take the 7:10 train. “Mama, where is dada?” queried Tisha again. It was 6:55. “Ram is going to be late” Rukmi thought , “and Tisha is already getting impatient.What if he has to wait for another one of those overseas call?Oh my God!” Just then her mobile phone rang.Rukmi ran to get it. “Must be Ram to tell me he is going to be late!” she thought. Au contraire it was Radha shrieking into the phone asking her to switch on the TV and watch the NDTV news. Again she was puzzled as to why Radha had asked if Ram had returned. Radha was Ram’s sister. “Something must be wrong” she told herself in a panicky tone.The TV switched on, the NDTV news channel had a news about back to back bomb blasts in Mumbai in the Opera House,Zaveri bazaar and Dadar area. Rukmi sat down speechless.Ram had not yet returned and he was in Dadar.She immediately tried to call Ram, but the networks were jammed. She paused for a moment to calm herself down and tried to call Ram’s office line.Again it was of no use. Now is when the shock began to settle in and she broke down, crying loudly so much so that Tisha who had been seeing her favourite cartoon came rushing to her not knowing what had made her mother cry so. “I hate Mumbai’s traffic” Ram muttered within himself “am going to miss the 7:10.” “Shit” he swore to himself. He dialled Rukmi’s number but the voice said that all networks were down.He tried the landline number of the house, and then again it was continuously busy. He was just 15 minutes away from the station.He paid off the taxi and decided to walk down. “I will reach faster.” Just then something caught his eye- a balloon seller with balloons in the shape of different animals. He remembered that he had promised Tisha a gift .He found the one he knew Tisha would love – a dolphin. It was precisely at that moment he felt the ground under his feet tremble. He felt as though there had been an earthquake and within seconds he heard people shouting “Bomb blast….Bomb blast”. “Mama, Dada promised.” Rukmi was still sobbing and now didn’t know what she would tell Tisha.Radha had rushed to their house when Rukmi had later on called up to tell her that her efforts to trace Ram had gone in vain. “Tisha, let’s go see Shinchan” Radha suggested to Tisha “let Mama wash her face and cook dinner for you.” On Radha’s cue Rukmi washed her face and again tried to call Ram, an effort that failed again. With great struggle, she went into the kitchen to make some rotis for Tisha. Triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…..Triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing, the phone rang and by the time Rukmi could get to the phone, it stopped. She turned to return back to the kitchen, when it rang again.She immediately picked up the phone with an anxiety that the call would be the contributor of bad news, “Rukmi, I missed the 7:10 train but got back on the tracks of life with just moments to spare!”